Tag Archives: pizza

Heaven

I’ve been thinking a lot about heaven recently.

“What’s the matter with you? Are you suicidal or something?”

No, of course not! Stop interrupting!

“But you’re the one typing this.”

Cut it out, you’re breaking my train of thought.  Anyway, to be thinking about heaven isn’t even close to wanting to die.  It’s just looking forward to an event that is going to be awesome!

First off, why do people think that heaven is going to be a small bunch of clouds, cramped together with nothing to do but play harp and contemplate the molecular structure of your halo.  It’s as if they thought Heaven was going to be boring or something.  Idiots.

Heaven is going to be fantabulous!  (No, that word is not shorthand for getting fat off soda.) Dinosaurs, no pain, (“Watch me jump off this cliff!”) eternity to fly into space, all your Christian buddies to hang out with day after day…it’s a dream come true.

And it’s going to be humongous!  The capital city is going to be 1,400 miles wide, long and TALL!  That’s some skyscraper!  I guessing that we can expect everything to be bigger, and by that I mean a whole lot bigger.

“But how could they build anything that tall?  That’s ridiculous.”

Oh really? By what, earth’s standards?  Face it buddy, that’s not in Kansas at all!

Honestly, one of the things I’m most looking forward to is heavenly pizza.  I imagine it to be eight feet wide, four inches high, the crust stuffed with gorgeous cheese, pepperoni and bacon, and not a vegetable within miles of it.  And guess what?  The Bible says I can’t even begin to imagine how great it’ll be.

PepperoniPizza-full
Think this-only bigger, greasier and MORE CHEESE!

Let’s face it, we’ll eat.  And our bodies will be so amazing that we can keep eating as much as we want and never get fat!  (The local hotdogs should also be excellent.)

Heaven  is a spectacular thing to daydream about, but it’s also a great reason for living.  What is it that allowed prophets, priests, missionaries, and and ministers to keep the faith, despite the brutal attacks waged against them? (And no, the answer is not pizza.)  Was it solely their love for Christ that kept them going?

Yes.  But another very legitimate reason to follow Christ, is the reward of Heaven that was waiting for them.   Even Moses had faith because, “he looked unto the recompense of reward.” (Hebrews 11: 26)  I’m not saying that Christians are selfish pigs who when they die are going to stand before God and say, “Okay, I did what you wanted, so now gimme, gimme, GIMME!!!”

But it’s still a motivator.  When confronted by earthly temptations, it’s often easy to forget why we say no to them.  But there are reasons.

Reason #1: God could get angry and easily blast you to smithereens with a lightning bolt, and send you to hell in less than a nanosecond.

Reason #2 (the much more plausible version):  You know that the pleasures in heaven are so great that the greatest sensation you can experience now is practically worthless, like the tiniest hint of pure, peanut butter fudge in you brownie.

Reason #3: You love God and simply want to follow all his commandments, you perfect Christian!  (Show offs.)

So that’s it.  Heaven is what helps keep us going in the here and now, by giving us something to look forward to.  No matter how hard of situation we might have to face, it’ll be over in less than a blink of an eye.  After all, eternity is going to last a bit longer than a basketball game.  Or a football game.  Or even a soccer game.  Okay, maybe not that last one.

So as you go about life, minding your own business, I invite you to think of heaven.  Not as a dull, boring thing that should be avoided, but as a fantastical ride that will last forever.  The best description I’ve ever read of it is actually for C.S. Lewis’s The Last Battle.  Such beautiful of picture as in the chapter “Farewell to the Shadowlands” you will not find elsewhere.

5 Things I Want to See in Star Wars Ep. 7

I know what you’re thinking…”You’re blogging about Ep. 7 already? What kind of a geek untitledare you?!”

But seriously (kind of) aren’t you looking forward to this event as well. I mean, this is STAR WARS we’re talking about. It hasn’t hit the big screen for nearly ten years, and for a long time it looked like it never would again.

But then the all-powerful Disney had to come in and purchase Lucas Arts. (I hear that they’re re-releasing the first six films as musicals. Click here to see the trailer!) And so once again we will be treated to this saga that so much potential, and I will finally be able to see one in theatres!

Enough talk. Here are some things that I would dearly love to see in the upcoming Star Wars Ep. 7!

untitled1. A Jedi throw a lightsaber and use the Force to bring it back.

It’s in practically every video game, the rotating lightsaber slashing off the heads of foes and then whirling back into the Jedi’s hand. But we’ve never seen it in a movie!

2. Han Solo.untitled

Okay, seriously, how could I not include him. I realize Harrison Ford isn’t quite as lively as he used to be, but a mere cameo appearance would suit me just fine.

untitled3. A Wookie tear the arm off of something.

This may sound a little violent, but the sheer power of Wookies is always taken pretty lightly, except during the attack on Kashyyyk. Honestly, I think it could be pretty awesome.

4. Qui-Gon Jin’s Force Ghost.

Qui-Gon Jin is easily my favorite character that Liam Neeson has played and the fact that he wasn’t able to make such a cameo appearance in Ep. 3 should as least put this rather bizarre request into at least the realm of possibility.

But most of all, I want to see…untitled

5. A Spectacular Movie!

A film worthy to raise its head among the greats. Visuals beautiful and terrifying, characters that are rich, lovable (and despicable), plots well enough written to put the prequel trilogy to shame, and that goofy charisma that made the original trilogy so much fun! I know I’m asking for a lot, but I think they can do it. If you haven’t figured it out yet, basically all I want is the greatest Star Wars movie yet!

Disturbed: Chocolate Pizza and Christian Book Reviews

A friend of mine, Sven Hurtalots, and I were driving home from a church event when he said, “You know what this country needs; cheeseburger tacos.”country-road2560

Mind…blown. Frantically, I struggled to think of something that could possibly match the sheer brilliance just displayed by a definitely not-so-brilliant guy.

“Yeah, well, you know what else we need?” I asked.

“Chocolate pizza,” he said, unfazed.

Darn! He did it again! From a guy who’s based his life philosophy on the shapes of gum he finds under car seats, he came up with not one, but two genius ideas in one car ride! I had never been so outmatched.

Sweat began forming on my elbows, a hormone disorder I have never gotten used to. This was getting serious.

“What about Christian book reviews?” I blurted out.

books[1]Bingo. Once again I came from behind and felled my opponent. But seriously, has anyone else noticed the startling lack of Christian based book reviews? I know I have. As a youngster, I spent as much of my time as I could reading, no DEVOURING any and all books that came my way. Out of the Silent at five years old, The Lord of the Rings at eight, and far too many others to mention.

However, whenever I wanted to start a new book or series, my mother would always have to read through them for me. Considering that I read an estimated three thousand different books during my first ten years of life, imagine how much of her time was spent on that.

Why hasn’t there been a website devoted to Christian reviews of books before? We have PluggedIn (an excellent site, and no, I am not getting paid to say that) for movies and video games, not that reviews of either are hard to find, but none for books.

With this in mind, I am going to do my best to fill the vacancy via this blog. Having already a wide experience with reading thousands of mainstream books that youngsters will be wanting to read, I could pretty much tell you in person anything you might want to know, but since we can’t meet in person (alas, love lost before tis even found) this might be the next best thing.

Just to clarify, humor, life lessons and other things will still find they’re way here, so no need to worry about that, not that anyone was. However, in time, if traffic to this site picks up and most of that traffic seems centered on book reviews, I could see purposing the entire blog towards that one goal.

So go on, comment below and let me know what books you want to have reviewed. No guarantee on response time, but it should be less than two weeks (in the case I haven’t read it) and less than a week in the case that I have.